Mother’s Guilt

Amongst the people that come to me for anger management, mothers comprise quite a significant number after stressed out corporate executives.

What strikes me most is how often these mothers carry a sense of guilt towards their children. And I’m not talking about the guilt and remorse they feel after they have yelled or hit their family. I’m referring to the sense that they are never doing enough for their little ones.

A little digging will reveal either hidden guilt or unresolved anger they have had towards their own parents over a series of events during childhood.

Those with unconscious guilt tend to take on too much responsibilty towards the caring of their parents hence leaving very little of themselves emotionally for their own kids, which then triggers a sense of guilt towards the latter.

Those with unresolved anger towards their parents, especially their mothers, strive to be the mom they have never had themselves, which often translates into overcompensating behavior towards their own children.

Children being smarter nowadays are able to sniff out this guilt in their mommies and use it to manipulate them.

Regardless of which category these mothers belong to, the end result is always frustration caused by the overwhelming helplessness they feel for not able to discipline their children well.

These unhealed trauma tends to create boundary issues with their children, creating the tendency to be swing between extremes of strictness or permissiveness.

Unless mothers resolve their own childhood trauma, this guilt will always prevent them from achieving clarity in management their relationships with their children.

Have you let go of your guilt today?